Deep Inside 'The Red Light District' by Chris Mara

File Under: Give me a break! Hype, Touring, Shows, Gigs, Reviews and "We're in the Studio" Bands, It's time to clean up your websites.

By Tommy Wiggins, musician

Item #1 HYPE

My current "give me a break" is bands that pump (a.k.a pimp) themselves up on their web sites, apparently believing that people will think that the band has accomplished more than it actually has. Be careful what you write, my dear bands. This is hyperbole. According to the Microsoft dictionary (I was too lazy to consult the 20 pound unabridged one in the next room) hyperbole is "a deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect". In the entertainment industry, we call this Hype. No one really believes hype, do they??? BANDS: Stop insulting your readers on your MySpace pages with bullshit hype. I suggest that you strive for realistic bullshit instead of fantasy bullshit. It's akin to the fine line between sexy and sexist in This is Spinal Tap.

Item #2 “TOURING”

Touring is when you get in the van and bring your toothbrush, at least one change of clothes and do not get to sleep in your own bed for several days at a time. Sleepovers with fans do not count if they live in your town. That’s just regular rock and roll sex. A TOUR is when you travel to several cities in a short time span. An example of a short tour would be four cities in four days, i.e., Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton. That's a TOUR.

If your band plays in your hometown and maybe 50 miles beyond, you do not get to call it a tour. I repeat, you do not get to call it a tour. You are playing gigs. If you're a Cleveland band and you work the N.E. Ohio area (Cleveland, Akron, Canton and Youngstown), you are not "on tour". Is this sinking in yet? Remember the definition? It's because you get to sleep in your own bed that night, or at least could have if your good friends hadn’t taken your car keys away.

Item #3 When is it a SHOW?

Parlament Funkadelic was a SHOW. Bruce and the E Street Band is a SHOW. You don't have to have costumes or funny hats to play a show, but there needs to be a heck of a lot more than shoegazing going on, or it’s just a "GIG". We used to call them "CLUB DATES".

There's nothing to be ashamed of, my post MTV brethren. If your band plays a rotation of clubs and taverns, no matter how you spin it, you're a bar band playing "bar gigs". A gig is not a show. If you’ve only worked up 45 minutes of music and you’re “headlining” a five-band lineup and the house soundman/woman makes more money than your entire band does, besides not being smart, you are in a bar band. It’s ok being a bar band. Get over it. Playing for free when the bar keeps all the money is another matter for another rant.

Item #4 REVIEWS

A review is a positive or negative critique of the band by a recognized media source. A mention that the band will be performing at the "Ajax Tavern" next Saturday night is NOT A REVIEW, and should be on the band's NEWS page, not the REVIEWS or PRESS page.

And last but not least, Item #5 WE'RE "IN THE STUDIO"

When say you're "in the studio", are you REALLY in the studio?" It's great that low cost digital technology has put creative tools in every musician's hands so we can record our music. But is a little bitty 2 channel interface with crappy-sounding mic preamps (with parts that cost the manufacturer about a dollar) connected to your laptop in your bedroom REALLY the same as working in a REAL recording studio with REAL gear and REAL mic preamps that cost five hundred bucks a pop? If you can't hear the difference you don't get to vote, because there's only one answer. Just don't pretend it's the same, ok?

That’s today’s rant, kids… all in the interest of HONEST media manipulation.

Make The Connection.

I know my fair share of musicians, and as diverse of a crowd as they are- they all seem to have one thing in common: The undying, unquenchable search for a better tone.  Whether it’s a guitar player looking for just the right head/cabinet combination or a drummer searching for a better sounding snare drum, tone is important- so much so that I could take a little biblical detour (very uncommon for me) and say that a lot of musicians I know suffer from the seven deadly sins of tone: 

Pride- damn, I got some good tone.

Envy- damn, I want his tone.

Gluttony- damn, I need a louder rig.

Lust- damn, I gotta get a better tone.

Anger- damn, my tone sucks!

Greed- damn, I gotta get more stuff.

Sloth- damn, my tone sucks- I’m going to bed.

Don’t worry, I’m not getting all Fire and Brimstone on your asses…I actually endorse all of these sins when it comes to the pursuit of good tone. (Well, maybe not sloth and anger, nobody likes a lazy crybaby.)   I think a lot of musicians take so much pride in their tone that they even start to be defined by their rig.  You know what I mean….you’ve got the Les Paul/Marshall half-stack guys and you’ve got the Telecaster/Fender Twin guys, just like you’ve got the DW drummers and you’ve got the vintage Ludwig drummers, etc, etc, etc.  You know who you are, and you know what I’m talking about!  I know what you’re thinking- am I going anywhere with this, or am I showing classic signs of the lesser known eighth deadly sin of Rambling? 

Moving on….I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a pretty slow learner, but one thing I learned pretty quickly was if you ask a musician what their rig is- the answer will NOT be a short one.  They usually start twitching like Rain Man and rattle off the entire lineage of all the gear they’ve ever owned- complete with dates, people, places and dollar amounts- yea-definitely dollar amounts, definitely.  Ok, back to the part about me being a slow learner….right about the point in these conversations that I’m about ready to gag myself with a spoon, I attempt to segue into the topic of actually recording these fabulous tones I’ve been hearing so much about.  I like to ask questions regarding their previous recording experiences, and what expectations they have for the next time they hit the studio.  Suddenly-and this is the part I can’t figure out-all the pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth (you remember-the seven deadly sins of tone!) seem to disappear from the conversation faster than a drummers’ paycheck. 

Why is that?  How can the same people so obsessed with the perfect tone suddenly loose all interest in taking the necessary steps towards capturing these tones on their recording?  I’ve heard stories of guitar players surrendering their carefully configured rigs for Pods or Amp Farm, and drummers’ settling for having their drums replaced by plug-ins due to sub-par drum sounds which inevitably strips the recording of cool overtones and dynamics that are the very essence of the performance.    To me this is crazy talk!  Why spend all the time and energy finding “your tone” just to leave it at home when it matters most?

The “connection” I’m trying to make in the article is two-fold:  First, I feel the pride you have in your tone should carry over into the recording process- without a doubt.  The person you hire to record your band should have a great deal of interest in what you sound like, and work towards better capturing that sound, instead of manufacturing his version of your bands’ sound by abusing technology.  A good way to help decided what level of recording your band needs is to take a look around your bands’ practice space and do some rough math on the total dollar amount you have invested in gear that helps you get “your tone”.  How much is it?  Now, how much are you planning on spending on your next recording?  Is there a gross mismatch?  As a rule of thumb for the independent band- the two amounts should be in the same ballpark.

Secondly, how long have you been playing music?  Talk with your band mates and get an average number of years you’ve been playing your instruments.  Compare that to the recording engineers you’ve been talking to.  Have they been doing it longer?  Hopefully so.  A lot of times musicians assume that walking into Guitar Center and buying some recording equipment instantly makes you a recording engineer.  Let me flip the script on that one….If I told you that I just bought a Les Paul and a Marshall half-stack and wanted to be in your band; the FIRST question you’d ask me is how long I’ve been playing guitar.  What would your reaction be if I said “I don’t.  The guy at GC told me this is a ‘world-class rig’, so I’ve got the right tools, how hard can it be?”  You (as a guitar player for several years) would be insulted, right? Getting good at anything takes time, just like getting good at playing guitar, bass, drums, singing, songwriting, gigging, etc- it takes years to get good at recording, mixing, mastering, etc.   Many bands have one member who’s decided to learn how to record, and has talked the rest of the band into being his guinea pigs- but I can’t help but to feel that it’s a conflict of interest…just because one member wants to try something new- have you thought about the negative effects it might that have on the rest of the bands’ goals?  How is someone’s first attempt at recording going to stand up in the industry next to bands that have hired a professional engineer?  Is that going to help the rest of the band achieve their primary goal of becoming rock gods?

I know this may seem like a self-serving rant…but it’s not.  I feel the connection between tone lust and recording that tone often isn’t made…and the band’s career can suffer as a result.  So, please make the connection.  If you care about your tone….then care about your tone all the time, and seek out people in the industry who suffer from the same seven sins as you do.  Besides, sinners have more fun!

Chris Mara

Nashville, TN

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara

This article was published in Tape Op Magazine and Rift Magazine, I really like it and thought I'd post it here in its entirety. 

I hope you like it too.

Limits

Admittedly, this is a hypocritical topic for me to write about- I’m the first to tell you that I don’t like limits, especially the speed type.  But, as I sit here listening to a record (yes, an actual vinyl disc thingy that’s spinning on a turntable) it’s gotten me thinking about some things…like limits.

A record is about 45 minutes long, which is a physical limitation of the medium.  As an artist making a record you had to be aware of that limitation from the very beginning.  So dig this, it’s really cosmic man:  (sorry kids- the record is from the early-seventies…the hippie dialect is bubbling to the surface…) If a guitar solo is really long in one song, for instance, the whole record can be affected…another song is going to have to be edited, shifted in order to fit on the other side, or dropped all together in favor of a shorter song that will fit on the record.  The artist has to be tuned into the big picture- that he or she is making a record – not just putting a bunch of songs on a shinny 80 minute CD.   I think this is one of the reasons why there are so many great records; the limits of the medium really forced artists to make the best out of the 45 minutes they were allotted, instead of the now-all-too-common shoulder shrugging comment “put them both on there- if they don’t like it they’ll skip over it.”

Wait!  There’s more!  Let’s take a look at limits while recording.  First of all, this whole “unlimited track count” thing has been rubbing me raw for a long time.  What’s wrong with 24 tracks?!?  No, this isn’t the typical “The Beatles recorded on a four track” argument- that’s lame.  Here’s why: 1) they’re The Beatles.  They could’ve called the radio station and sang a song onto the answering machine and it would have been a hit.  2) Everyone else at the time (who could afford it) was recording on a four track too- it wasn’t some “back to nature” hippie thing.  3) A four track was four times the number of tracks previously available to artists.  Moving on: a million and nine (roughly) records were (and still are) made on 24 tracks or less.  This limitation forces the question: “is my idea of adding a whale sound in the second verse worth sacrificing my three part harmonies in the bridge?”  It’s a lot like the length of a record situation.  One thing affects another- the better song, the better idea, the better performance wins.  It’s like some sort of über-cool natural selection theory.  Hmm- maybe “Mara” is Latin for “The new Darwin.”

My desire to explore the positive aspects of limits in the studio is limitless. Ironic, huh?

Next up: Time.  I’m all for budgeting enough studio time for the process to take place. No one wants to be in the “now or never; do or die” situation- those are best played out in John Wayne movies on AMC.  However; I think the “studio in the box” propaganda machine has overlooked the negative aspects of what can happen when you have total access to exactly where you left off on a project, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Without limits it’s even easier to get lost in the process; because the process has no defined boundaries.  Artists tend to get bored with their projects, and start to wonder if a cowbell is the answer.  Contrary to popular belief- cowbells do not cure any type of fever. Ever.   I’ll be the first to admit that I, on occasion, have mixed a song for a few hours too long.  Yes, I’ve done the unthinkable- I’ve actually mixed the fun out of a song or two in my day. It’s kind of like the old adage, “It takes two people to paint a perfect painting…one to paint it, and the other to shoot him when he’s done.” Without restrictions we just keep painting until the canvas is black. The solution?  Limits. Now I keep an eye out for those special songs that require a short, off the cuff mix and limit the time I spend on them by having my assistant mix them.

                                                 (That was a joke, folks.)

I know “Hey come record with me, I’ll show you limits like you’ve never seen!” isn’t something you want to hear from a producer or engineer – but the true lesson here is that limits really can be useful.  They force the best out of all of us.  Having a limit to the number of songs on a record demands better songwriting, having limited track counts forces you to learn how to be a better recording artist.  The fact is; limits force us to make decisions.  I’ve come to the conclusion that decision making is becoming a lost art. (Well, I think they have, I don’t know- what do you think?)  Often times I see creative energies drained by listening to take after take after take (after take), instead of making the decision “I can beat that” right away and moving on.  Working within limits can create really cool heart pounding moments too- there’s nothing like beating a performance by recording over it. Decisions like that really snap you into focus and lead to better performances, along with a huge sense of accomplishment.  These limitations also give you the opportunity to listen to your 24 tracks (or less) on playback and ask “Is this working? Is my message getting across to the listener?”  If not, these same limits allow you only a few choices: 1) live with it. 2) mute something or 3) do it again.   Really those aren’t bad choices to live by - because, and let’s be honest, when was the last time adding a backwards cymbal to a song really solved anything??

Chris Mara

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara

We’ve all heard the saying that rejection is a part of life- usually right before you get rejected; it’s like some sort of sick joke or something. You know, like Lou Gehrig dying from Lou Gehrigs Disease; what are the odds? Seriously though, being in the music industry as an artist kicks the rejection thing into overdrive. You really have to be able to deal with it, and the best way I’ve found to do that is to use it to your advantage. Huh? Read on kiddies- I haven’t gone crazy yet.

If you’re in a band and you not dealing with rejection it means one of two things: 1) you’re Sting. (why Sting? His wife brings chicks home for him to “play with”-the man hasn’t been rejected in over a decade) or 2) you’re not in a band that’s trying to go somewhere. It’s that simple. If you’re not getting rejected several times a day- then you’re not trying to reach the next level for your band. Personally I’d love to tell you that I don’t have to deal with rejection as an engineer, producer, or even as a writer. I do, and I deal with a frickin’ metric ton of it on a weekly basis. (think elephant) Am I ashamed of it? Hell no, it’s just part of doing business, part of life, part of relationships, part of the human condition. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to deal with it as effectively as possible without ending up in a padded cell:

Have a rejection quota- Why not add rejection to the long list of things we humans don’t understand but compulsively measure and document- like gravity (we don’t know exactly what it is, but we know how much of it is on Pluto—a planet we will most likely never, ever visit.) As a band-set your own weekly rejection quota, a.k.a “RQ”. For starters, set your RQ at no less than 15 times per week. Have some fun by breaking it down a bit- RQ by clubs 5 times per week, by labels 5 times per week, and by the press 5 times per week. This will help you stay on the phones and actually look forward to rejection, since you’ll be getting a nice variety.

Make sure you’re getting rejected by the right people- This is huge. Now that you’re getting a belly full of rejection- it’s time to analyze it a bit. This will help you to determine if the right people are rejecting you. A rejection from Capitol Records in Nashville won’t count towards your RQ if you’re in a rock band-you’re simply barking up the wrong tree. Knowing why you got rejected will really help to figure out how not to get rejected in the future. If you’re constantly getting rejected due to things like genre, you need to make some changes in who you’re asking to reject you. (see- this is FUN!) If your band does only original music and you’re getting rejected by clubs who don’t book original bands- find clubs that do and start getting rejected by them instead.

Ask questions in order to turn rejection into a relationship- Being in a band is a lot like being a stalker. (or so I’m told) If a club rejects you, for instance- ask what the basis for the decision was. Poor draw expectations? Press kit issues? Demo quality? When the rejecter gives you an answer- ask (or figure out) what you can do to overcome the issue. This will hopefully lead to a helpful conversation- so be cool. Keep your mouth shut and listen to the input- don’t argue with him/her, simply write down what they have to say and see if you can make those changes in order to play the club. After you make the suggested changes, you’ll be surprised at what will happen when you call back and say “hey Joe Clubowner - we spoke last month and you didn’t book us due to X. Well, we took your advice and now have Y- do you want to give us another shot?” Same goes for labels.

Strive to get rejected for the right reasons- Do what? Once you start identifying why you’re getting rejected and take the necessary steps to avoid future rejection for the same reasons- and start looking for the times you are rejected for the right reasons. This may seem like splitting hairs- but hey, that’s what nuclear fission is all about! (no wait, that’s splitting atoms) When you get to the point where you’re getting rejected by a club due to a scheduling conflict, or a label due to the fact that they already have an act similar to you- these are really good signs! It’s like getting shot down by a girl at the bar because she’s married. She’s all “I’d love to, but I’m married.” not “get away from me- you smell like feet.”

It’s all about finding the “Rejection Zen” of being rejected by the right people for the right reasons. That usually means that you’re being rejected based on an informed decision, not based on a misconception about your band. Once you successfully obtain feedback from people that have rejected you in the past, you can make decisions about which things to change to achieve your goals and which things not to change in order to keep your artistic integrity (like that nifty pony tail). Not everyone you deal with is going to be kind enough to let you know why you were rejected, so the fail-safe on staying sane and avoiding burnout is to judiciously use the following advice: “sometimes things don't work out like you plan because shit happens due to other people's shit”, so. DON”T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. And by the way, if anyone’s curious, my RQ has consistently been measured north of 160. Hell, I’m practically a Rejection Savant.

Peace Out.

Chris Mara
www.chrismara.com
www.myspace.com/chrismara

Check it out- I hope you dig it. As always- comments are greatly appreciated.

Rock out.

Chris Mara

Nashville, TN

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara

Instead, I’m going to summarize almost every band meeting I’ve ever had when the subject of “recording budget” comes up. It’s usually a short, awkward portion of the meeting where the band members squirm around and shoot glances at each other instead of making eye contact with me. Then one of the band members clears his throat, shrugs his shoulders, shoves his hands in his pockets and meekly says “dude, we’re poor.” It seems that a lot of bands I have meetings with are poor. Or are they?

Somewhere around the forty-thousandth time I found myself across the table from 5 band members bitching about how “poor” they were, and in between sips of their Starbucks triple latte explaining how many bills they had between them- I realized something. (Sometimes it takes me a while to catch on; I only recently learned the meaning of epiphany…) Yes, bands have a lot of bills; they also have the income of usually 5 or more people. But more importantly, they have the poor (pun intended) spending habits of as many people as there are in the band. Oooh….I think I sense a good article idea brewing…can you smell what the cook is rockin’?!!

When I’m in the studio with bands, I’m always paying attention to the people I’m working with. How they like their coffee, what they think is funny, and which shirt brings out the hazel blue highlights in the drummers’ eyes- you know, the little things. This spills over into the hang time outside of the studio as well, and I’ve noticed a couple things about the majority of the bands I work with. They tend to smoke cigarettes, eat fast food constantly, buy endless six-packs of (insert favorite beverage), and generally go through disposable income as if it were just that…disposable.

A big part of my production technique is to talk with bands a lot about what they want to do with their music, about their goals for the recording, etc. Then I keep an ‘ear’ out for things that they may do musically that contradict the goals we discussed during our meetings. Then bring those contradictions to the forefront so the band can make conscious decisions about their music, their goals, or both. Let’s flip the script and take a look at your bands’ spending habits, and how they may be contradicting (and inhibiting) your music goals.

The average band I work with is a four piece. On average, each member smokes about a pack a day and eats at a fast food restaurant at least once a day. Is that a classroom bell ringing? Yep- it’s time for math class. I did some digging and it seems the average cost of a pack of cigarettes is about $5. The average cost of a fast food meal is about $7. So, one could easily figure out that a four piece band traveling on a west-bound train going 55 mph spends about $48/day on fast food and cigarettes. That’s $336 a week, and nearly $1500 a month!! “Holy shit, is this guy actually asking us to give up fast food and cigarettes? We’re a rock band! That’s un-American!” I assure you that I’m as American as apple pie, and I’m a rocker through and through…but wouldn’t it be ironic if your “rock and roll lifestyle” was the very thing holding you back from recording your rock odyssey and gaining another rung on the rock ladder to fame and fortune?

Don’t worry; I’m not getting all Alan Greenspan on your ass. I’m not going to ask you to sell a bunch of stuff, convert your touring van to solar power, or cancel your cable subscription. What I am asking you to do is give up something that almost everyone else you know has been harping you about for a long time, and put the proceeds towards something else that people have been wanting you to do for a long time- RECORD AN ALBUM!! Please don’t read this article and give it a half-hearted attempt. Really do this thing. Sit down with your band and make a pact to do this together, and hold each other accountable for slipping up. If you do, in just a couple months you’ll have enough money saved to put a deposit down on some studio time and get the ball rolling on your recording project. $1,500 a month is a lot of money- you owe it to yourselves to do this thing.

Still not convinced? Well, here’s where you get a glimpse at the tip of an iceberg known as my genius: Every scum-sucking, spineless A&R douche bag I’ve ever talked to is looking for a band with “a story”. When asked “a what?” they respond “You know, something that will set them apart- something interesting about them.” How grand would it be if ‘your story’ was how your band gave up fast food and cigarettes for a few months to save the money needed to record the album that got them signed? Plus, you’ll look better in those leather pants you outgrew about 10 gigs ago.

Chris Mara

Nashville, TN

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara

Over the years I have found the terms "cost" and "price" quite often used synonymously; regardless of actual definitions however, I believe the connotations of these two words to be far from in accord. The "price" of the item is usually associated with a monetary value, and whereas the "cost" can be as well, it is usually more closely tied to the mental/financial reward (or burden) placed upon the buyer. The number one question I get asked as an engineer/producer is "Hey Chris, how much to record a demo?" After hearing my rule of thumb price for a high quality EP or full length project I often hear "um, well, um, wow." Followed a few days later by "We've got a buddy who just got a computer and will do it really cheap." I usually respond nicely by saying "That's cool. Rock it out." This (seemingly self-serving) blog is going to turn that conversation around by asking not the price of a demo, but the more important question: "How much is your demo costing you?"

So, we'll start with a fun little exercise: I want you to close your eyes (oops- bad idea. Keep 'em open and read on) and visualize the last few times you handed your demo to someone. What did you say about it? Did you defend it? Did you have to apologize for it? Did you shrug your shoulders and say something ridiculous like "it's pretty good for what it is"? (BTW-that's like saying your girlfriend is "pretty hot for an ugly chick if you're looking from the right angle"..all it does is confuse people.) Maybe you did some face-to-face damage control and were able to sell it at your merchandise table, but now visualize your demo sitting on a local club owners' desk along with 50 other demos from area bands. How do you think it will fair on its own? How about at a regional club owners' desk with 150 demos on it, and half the time to listen to them? I'm not even going to talk about indie/major labels, college, and commercial radio stations! Hmm.how much is your demo costing you?

OK, so that's what's happening now, but what about while you were working on it? How many months did you spend recording 3-4 hours at a time? Six, eight, maybe even TEN months? Stop and think about all the opportunities you may have missed during that time. How many music conferences, showcases, and tour slots did you miss by not recording in a professional environment over a scheduled set of sessions? (Not to mention how many bored fans may have wandered off into the desert in your absence, never to be seen again.(that's a metaphor, folks.) Hmm.now how much is your demo costing you?

Well, I've been hammering away at how much damage a bad demo can do, so why don't I clue you in on what to look for when you get ready to make a demo you can be proud of. First and foremost, hire someone who is a full-time recording engineer. That's how he makes his living; that's how he pays the bills. Would you hire a part-time neurosurgeon?? Regardless of their competency level, if someone doesn't exclusively record music for a living, your project can easily be put on the back burner at any time, because this is extra money for them- not their livelihood. Hire someone who will do it once, and will do it right. Listen to some work they have done that was recorded with the same budget you have to spend. Be sure to compare apples to apples!

Before I go any further, I should take a minute to address any potential eye-rolling going on. Of course I'm going to try to scare bands straight like those whacked out parents do to their kids on the The Maury Povich Show- after all, I'm a recording engineer right? I'll diffuse that ticking time bomb by letting you know I'm advocating getting a professional involved in your recording process, not necessarily me. Often, due to schedule conflicts I'm not able to work with every band I'd like to, and I help them find someone that is right for them. Are we cool? Good.

This entire subject is hard for me to articulate (remember, I'm prone to ranting.) so let me borrow (that's 'writer speak' for plagiarize) from a TV ad I saw recently. It's a clothing store campaign with the slogan "The most expensive suit in your closet is the one that can cost you a favorable impression." At first I thought it sounded pretty cheesy, but then it started to sink in. I think it kind of sums it all up...if a band saves a few bucks on a recording a demo, but the demo ends up costing them a favorable impression, it turns out to be a pretty expensive demo, doesn't it?

Now for the happy ending. (At least the Mara Music Massage version) Since the onset of the home recording trend, less and less bands are recording quality demos. If you take the initiative to record a great sounding demo with a full-time music industry professional, you're going to have a better chance at standing out from the crowd. You'll also end up with something that you can actually sell! It is an investment that should return a profit while also spreading the good word about your band. That sure beats spending months and months recording a sub-par demo that most bands end up just giving away at shows or to friends. And when you drop one off with an agent, college radio station, club owner, record company, etc., you won't have to leave it wrapped in a blanket of apologies(non-DNA, of course). It is truly representative of the band and will speak volumes without so much as an introduction. So when deciding what to spend on your next project, don't get caught up in just the price; think of the cost. More often than not, it's a cheap demo that ends up costing you more than you ever could have imagined.

Chris Mara

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara

I won’t be talking about technology too much in this blog. In fact, I believe technology has very little to do with making a great record. Think of your top 10 favorite records of all time- they were probably recorded across a few different decades, utilizing the technology (or lack thereof) available at the time. But they’re all great records. Here’s my point: if the band isn’t in the right mindset to deliver a kick ass performance, then what good is the technology?

Hmm, the right mindset….is that why people sometimes talk about how an engineer and producer have to use proper psychology in the studio? Well I personally don’t sit around with those ink-blot flashcards asking bands if they see a bunny rabbit or the aftermath from a murderous rampage…but I do have spare couch around if necessary. And what is this ‘vibe’ thing people always talk about? Why is it so important? Now we’re asking the right questions.

To me, everything I do in the recording process (no matter how seemingly tangential) boils down to this: Bands that are comfortable are confident. Confident bands deliver confident performances. Confident performances kick ass. Kick ass records sell.

Do you smell what I’m stepping in? Good, because I plan on tracking it all over the house.

I’ve come to realize that the bands I record have worked very, very hard to become comfortable, confident and kick ass on stage- and that it takes a long time to get comfortable on stage, often years and years. A big part of my job is to get bands comfortable in a studio setting, and fast! But it’s tricky. I don’t want bands to try to get comfortable…that just leads to trying too hard. We’ve all tried too hard at things. It can be dangerous. Whether it’s trying too hard to be funny, using too many big words (like watermelon) to appear to be smart, or trying too hard to impress someone, it always seems to backfire. Same with being comfortable-it’s the one thing you can’t fake in the studio, or add with Pro Tools. Comfort should just come. It’s that feeling you get when you’re wearing your favorite pair of jeans with that T-shirt you’ve had forever. You feel invincible- that’s the essence of what I’m trying to get on tape every time I’m in the studio.

I guess this is the reason I refer to myself as an “(anti) professional.” I’ve worked really hard over the years to get good enough at the technical aspects of what I do to be able to place it firmly in the background. My version of “studio psychology” is based on the fact that technology doesn’t make bands comfortable!! So, I make a lot of jokes while I work, I wear a silly brass bell with a pink ribbon around my neck, and I smile a lot (you kinda have to when you’re wearing a bell with a pink ribbon…) I don’t talk about the technology that I’m using during a session, I don’t squint and point at computer screens that sit between me and the band. I’d rather move them off to the side of the console (or shut them off!) and focus on lighting some candles between takes, adjust the lights and light just the right incense as I listen to the bands’ headphone mix to make sure it kicks ass. That’s huge!

Looking back, I’ve come full circle on the subject. When I first started out I took great pride in telling the lead singer how much the microphone costs that he’s singing into. I quickly realized what a dumb ass I was. Turns out, when you tell someone they’re singing into a mic that cost more than the new Camaro they just bought – they’re ass tends to pucker up a bit….which defeats the whole thing. Now when I’m asked how much the mic costs- I tell them it’s some old piece of shit that sounds great, and that it’s indestructible. I want the singer singing his little (un-puckered) ass of into that mic with reckless abandon. He can’t do that if he’s afraid he might break it and it’ll cost him his new car. For every piece of high-end gear I buy now, I make sure to buy some trinket for $50-$100, like a bullhorn (police issue!!) or a candolin. (That’s either a mandolin made from a tin can, or a candle made from a violin, I’ve forgotten which folks). This is the stuff that tends to make the difference; which in turn, makes them priceless. These "comfort zone creators" are the rarest of all ingredients in the hit record recipe; so treat them with as much respect as any of the coveted high dollar gear you may own. You know...like a DNA blanket.

Chris Mara
www.chrismara.com
www.myspace.com/chrismara

I’m a (anti) professional recording engineer based out of Nashville, TN. I bounce around from studio to studio, city to city and am hardly ever in the same studio for more than a week or two. So, over the years I started bringing certain things to each gig that would make it feel more like home. This turned into a full fledged “vibe kit” full of candles, incense, Mardi gras beads, my favorite slippers, et cetera. One of the items was a green blanket that I’ve had since I was a kid. I put it to good use over the kick drum of each session, faithfully protecting my outer kick drum mic from cymbal bleed. You guessed it- this article is about the green blanket.

Read on- it’s a good story, I promise.

Almost since day one of me bringing the green blanket to studios, I noticed that some mornings the blanket wouldn’t be in the same place as I left it. This happened almost every time some of the band members would crash at the studio. It seems that there really aren’t that many blankets hanging around professional studios- so band members would snatch it off the kick drum in order to get a good nights’ sleep. Harmless enough, right? Well, most bands that I work with travel from surrounding states, and they also like to bring things from home- like girlfriends. Some would even find girls to come back to the studio with them. In each case, they’d seek out the help of my trusty friend, the green blanket to comfort then in their time of need.

Fast forward about 6 years, countless bands, countless “times of need” and absolutely zero washing machine encounters - I’m serious, the green blanket has not been washed since 1995-it’s got a sheen to it that ensures you that water would bead up and roll off it like water off a duck’s back… the green blanket had taken on a life of its own! About four years ago I stopped folding it up after sessions- that’s why God made interns, right? I would quietly snicker as the intern would dutifully fold it up and place it in one of my road cases. I would also ask band members how they slept as they crawled out of underneath the green blanket. I would also offer it up in a heartbeat to any slightly chilled band groupie- that’s the best! I’m not always the best at hiding my giddy laughter, so I’ve had to tell a few bands what the deal is with the green blanket. Most didn’t believe me, but upon close inspection, you can really see that a ton of people have left their mark- it’s seriously gross. Almost every color associated with the human body is somewhere on this blanket.

This leads me to the next part of the green blanket’s story. After one side-splitting confession after another- it was brought to my attention that the green blanket needed another name- maybe a “code name” or something. After much thought (and a few other “times of need”) I came up with the perfect name, The DNA Blanket. The name stuck, as have a lot of other things to it over the last couple of years.

Why don’t I throw the blanket away? Well, I really can’t shake the image of me throwing it into a dumpster, and a few minutes later someone dumping a dead hooker into the same dumpster. The police would assume that The DNA Blanket was used in the crime and take it to the lab. Then the technicians would print out the 80 page report of all the people’s DNA that appeared on the blanket (you know who you are) and the trial of the century would begin. I can see the CSI script writers warming up in the wings…

I even have a list of people that have asked for a framed section of The DNA Blanket if, God forbid, anything should happen to it that would render it unusable, so it can live on in infamy; a true testament to its contribution to their record.

Well, that’s the story of The DNA Blanket. Not the typical recording and studio article- but that’s the point. I’m not your typical “professional” engineer, and there’s no such thing as a “typical band” or a “typical session.”

Hope you dug it.

Chris Mara

Nashville, TN

www.chrismara.com

www.myspace.com/chrismara