You almost certainly know him as the nasal voice on many of the Beach Boys’ biggest hits, from “Surfin’ Safari” to “Kokomo.”
You may also know him as one of the most hated men in rock ’n’ roll history, notorious for suing Brian Wilson – the guy who wrote almost every Beach Boys hit that isn’t “Kokomo” – and kicking all the other original members out of the group in 2012.
If you really know your stuff, you’re aware of Mike’s solo career, which started with 1981’s dubious Looking Back With Love and continues with November’s doubly dubious Unleash the Love, consisting of 13 new songs (including “Make Love Not War,” “Ram Raj,” and two John Stamos guest spots) and 12 re-recordings of Beach Boys classics like “Help Me Rhonda” and “Good Vibrations” — a song we’ve all wished he’d take another crack at.
I mean, look at this:
While most will shake their fist at this news — again, MIKE LOVE IS RE-RECORDING “GOOD VIBRATIONS” WITHOUT THE OTHER BEACH BOYS — we’d rather light a candle than curse his dorkness. Here are some projects, complete with the sort of titular puns Love seemingly can’t resist, that Mike might consider for his next solo voyage.
Love You Down: 12 Sexy Songs From the Quiet Storm
Butta Love: 12 Even Sexier Songs From the Quiet Storm
Make You Say Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike-Mike-Mike: 12 More Sexy, But Not Necessarily Sexier, Songs From the Quiet Storm
Cruisin’ Essence: Mike Love Fixes the Lyrics of Van Dyke Parks
Let Mike Love You: 12 Hot New Hits That Mike’s Pretty Sure Are by Justin Bieber
Heaven Must Have Sent You, From Mike Love: 12 Classic Hits That Mike’s Pretty Sure Were on Motown, Definitely by Black Guys, At the Very Least Al Jardine Was Always Saying the Beach Boys Should Cover Them, Though Not With Mike on Lead, That’d Be Crazy
Love In An Elevator: Mike Hums the Golden Age of Muzak
A Higher Love: Mike Re-Records Brian’s Falsettos on Pet Sounds (feat. Mark McGrath on “God Only Knows”)
Love, Actually: Mike Reads Anonymous Comments He’s Left on Stories About Brian Wilson
Mike Love Does It Good: A Tribute from the Undeniable Genius of the Beach Boys to the Undeniable Genius of the Beatles
Eno/Love: Music for Cocktail Sequels
When Love Cries: Mike Love Remembers Prince
Can You Feel Mike Love Tonight?: Mike Love Remembers Elton John [to be released upon Elton’s death]
Mike Love Is the Seventh Wave: Mike Love Remembers Sting [to be released upon Sting’s death]
Where Is Mike Love?: Mike Love First Learns About and Then Remembers will.i.am [to be released upon will.i.am’s death]